|
|
Post by She-Elf on Mar 2, 2006 22:57:39 GMT 1
A guy is standing out in his garden with a bucket in his hand when his next door neighbour walks by and sees him.
The neighbour asks, "what's that you've got in that bucket?"
The guy says, "it's horse muck" and the neighbour says, "oh right. What are you going to do with that then?"
The first guy answers, "I'm going to put it on my rhubarb" and his neighbour says, "oh no, you don't want to do that! You should come around to our house. We put custard on ours".
|
|
|
|
Post by naokib4u on Mar 8, 2007 23:01:46 GMT 1
There are 2d6 sorts of people on the Earth.
- The first sort plays roleplaying games.
- There are also some other sorts.
|
|
|
|
Post by She-Elf on Mar 9, 2007 19:56:36 GMT 1
hahaha!! Brilliant! ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by magus on Mar 12, 2007 4:29:16 GMT 1
Famous last words:
(In a dragon's lair) "I attempt to make a Move Silently check in full plate."
"Oooo shiny thing!"
|
|
|
|
Post by She-Elf on Mar 25, 2007 11:55:01 GMT 1
Heehee, when I saw that, I thought "there must be more of those somewhere", and lo and behold; I've found some!
(Feel free to add more):
Player:I quickly shove everything I can in my pockets, including the broken clock, and run outside!
GM: Okay...(confused)What broken clock?
Player: The one you said was counting backwards.
Im invincib.................
Player: I look out the window
DM: You see clouds beneath the window.
Player: I jump out the window.
DM: Make a new character.
Player: WHAT!?! I thought it was an illusion.
DM: No, it's a flying castle. Make a new character.
"Oh don't worry. The poisonous ones have orange stripes."
DM: The baslisk stares at you
PC: I challenge him by staring right in to his eyes
DM: Ok, I need everyone's dice so I can roll for damage.
"I wonder what would happen if I poked him..."
PC1: Use Spirit Strike on it!
PC2: But Spirit Strike only works on supernatural creatures!
PC1: Are you telling me a talking dog isn't supernatural??
"Everyone knows that dragons breathe fire...I use my protection from fire spell, and walk up to the green drag..."
"I disbelieve."
P1: Hey! We need a healer over here.
P2: He is the healer.
"I throw my sword at it!"
|
|
|
|
Post by naokib4u on Apr 2, 2007 19:28:03 GMT 1
<Flipping through the PHB, finds a section on getting in and out of armor>
SCHUYLER: “Hmm…Don Hastily.”
CONAN: “Who the heck is Don Hastily?
CAM: “We need to sneak by.”
CONAN: “We will go by ducts.”
SCHUYLER: “Why buy ducks?”
(An army approaches the gates)
GUARD ONE: "Hey Bob. How much are you paid?"
GUARD TWO: "25 an hour. You?"
ONE: "Same…worth it?"
TWO: "Nope…"
ONE: "Agreed."
GM: “Okay, the 10 mm Gattling cannon hits you, Ben.”
BEN: “How much?”
<GM rolls…>
GM: “56 points of damage.”
<Ben holds in shock>
GM: “Just throw that character out…then make another character and throw that one out two.”
GREG: “The damage kills you and your next character.”
CAM: “Look!”
Schuyler looks at Cam
CAM: “Don’t look at the HAND! Look where I am pointing!”
|
|
|
|
Post by orchomenos on Apr 9, 2007 19:44:22 GMT 1
There are 10 sorts of peoples in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't. Noob Player: Why is it written Idiot 1 on my character sheet?  DM: It's not Idiot 1, it's 1d10+1!  |
|
